Finishing Sealfit Kokoro
Lessons Learned from Kokoro 41
Note: I originally wrote this back in 2016 on my old website. My website is going away, but I didn’t want to lose this story, so I’m reposting it here.
On February 19th, 2016, I went through a transformative journey thanks to Sealfit Kokoro, a 50-hour endurance event modeled after Navy Seal training. It was designed by Navy Seal veteran, Mark Divine, to not only push the physical and mental limits of its participants, but to also show that they are capable of accomplishing more than what they thought possible. I wanted to write this perspective to inspire and help others prepare for Kokoro or any other major goal that is outside their comfort zone.
I will not be providing a breakdown of what happened at that Kokoro class, as I feel that my fellow Kokoro teammate, Ryan Wolf, has done a great job summarizing the experience in his blog. Instead, I’ll cover my training regimen and my opinion on what’s needed to survive the entire 50-hour experience.
How It Started
My journey to Kokoro began after I had voluntarily quit GORUCK Selection 015 in 2014, one of the hardest endurance events ever created. A previous Selection finisher told me after the event that if I wanted to finish Selection, I should do Sealfit Kokoro. Intrigued by this suggestion, I did some research on the program and decided to register for Kokoro 36, which was taking place on February 20, 2015. I only had a few months to prepare for the event, and I stressed over how little time I had to be strong enough to pass Kokoro’s tough standards. I created an intense and admittedly ridiculous training plan to try to compensate for the short prep time, and I paid for this overtraining by tearing my left calf during a six mile run a month before Kokoro. The injury not only prevented me from participating in Kokoro 36, but it also torpedoed my plan to attempt Selection again later that year.
Fortunately, I was allowed to roll into a future Kokoro class, but my calf rehabilitation and a commitment to another crazy endurance event, the GORUCK Triple Heavy (three consecutive 24-hour team endurance events), prevented me from doing Kokoro in 2015. I decided to participate in Kokoro 41 in February 2016, a full year after my original intended class.
My Kokoro Training
After I recovered from my calf tear, I spent the rest of the year training for the GORUCK Triple Heavy (I covered the training for that event in this article). After the Triple Heavy, I took a break in October to let my body recover and began my Kokoro training in November. I met with a Kokoro finisher, Troy Angrignon, at a GORUCK event and he generously offered to help me prepare when he found out that I was doing Kokoro next. He suggested Stew Smith’s Complete Guide to Navy Seal Fitness, as its volume work for pull-ups and push-ups would be good training for Kokoro’s Physical Standard Test (PST). I didn’t worry about rucking (moving with a weighted backpack) for Kokoro as I was incredibly strong in that exercise due to my Triple Heavy training. Therefore, I only rucked on Saturdays.
After reflecting on my performance at Kokoro 41, there are a few things that I would have done differently. I wish I got Stew Smith’s book earlier, as I only had enough time to do the first eight weeks of its twelve week plan. I also wished I ran more, as I was gassed in several of my runs during the event. The twelve-week plan in Stew Smith’s book has a number of run workouts, but they weren’t enough for the amount of running done in Kokoro. However, the book does provide a supplementary running plan, and I would have benefited if I I had included it in my training.
The Kokoro PST
Kokoro will test you with two physical standard tests, which allow the coaches to gauge how physically prepared you are for the event. Failing either of these tests will result in a performance drop from the event, so it’s imperative that you train hard enough to pass both. Here is the Kokoro PST.
- 2 minutes max push-ups (minimum 50 for men, 40 for women)
- 2 minutes max sit-ups (minimum 50)
- 2 minutes max air squats (minimum 50)
- Dead hang pull-ups (minimum 10 for men, 6 for women)
- 1 mile run in pants and boots (under 9 minutes, 30 seconds)
Don’t fall into the trap of training up to the minimums for this test. You actually want to exceed them because you won’t be 100% when you take the test. The nerves you feel right when you start Kokoro will have an impact on your physical performance, and I guarantee that the coaches will run you through a smoke session before you take the test. Be prepared to be tired before you take the test!
You should strive to exceed 80 reps for push-ups, sit-ups, and air squats and 14 reps for pull-ups in your training. Your mile run should be between 6 and 7.5 minutes. If you want to feel absolutely confident about this test, complete a very difficult workout that smokes you, then take the PST. Or at the very least, take the PST twice, striving to go beyond the standards on your second attempt. If you can still exceed the minimums in your fatigued state, you have a good chance of completing the PST without issue.
Murph PST
While wearing 20# (15# for women) weight (vest or ruck)
- 1 mile run
- 100 pull-ups
- 200 push-ups
- 300 squats
- 1 mile run
Originally called Body Armor, this workout was renamed to Murph in honor of esteemed Navy Seal warrior, Michael Murphy, who sacrificed his life to save his teammates in Afghanistan (I recommend you research him). Kokoro requires that you finish this workout in under 70 minutes, and like the Kokoro PST, you want to train beyond that minimum. Based on what I read in other Kokoro After Action Reviews, talking with other finishers, and my personal experience, you will usually do this test after you’re 24 hours into Kokoro (that said, there’s no guarantee when exactly you will do the Murph PST during Kokoro). It’s possible (but not guaranteed) that this Murph test will be partitioned to 20 rounds of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 15 squats.
Strive to finish this workout in under 45 minutes. If you want to be confident that you’ll crush it, do the hardest workout that will smoke you and then attempt Murph. You’re in good shape to pass Murph if you can still finish in under 70 minutes. Do the volume work in Stew Smith’s book and test your Murph standards every three to four weeks.
Run
There’s a lot of running in Kokoro, so your goal during your training is to not only be a fast runner, but also be one that can run quickly when tired. In addition to the running required in the PSTs, the coaches will demand that you always run to your next location, and you’ll occasionally be competing against your teammates in “It pays to be a winner” races. If you win, you get to take a break as your reward while the rest get to race again. As I mentioned previously, Stew Smith’s book has a supplementary running program to its twelve week plan, and I strongly encourage that you follow it, especially if running is not your strong suit.
If you have a nearby beach, take advantage of it and get used to running on sand. You’ll be doing a lot of beach runs in Kokoro and running on sand is much different than running on trails and concrete.
Overnight Mountain Ruck
During Kokoro, you’ll be hiking Palomar Mountain with a weighted ruck, and it will be a considerable challenge because of the elevation gain and mileage. I recommend that you get comfortable rucking with 35 to 45 pounds in your rucksack. If you never rucked before, start with four miles and a 20 pound weight. Add two miles after each week and add a little more weight. If you can comfortably ruck up to 20 miles with 35 pounds, you’re almost set.
The next step is to get used to rucking up a mountain or trail with elevation gain, since it is so different from rucking on flat ground. If neither are close to you, then your next best bet to train your legs is to ruck on some stairs (or a stair master). If that’s not possible, then you can train with step-ups and weighted lunges as a last resort to strengthen your leg muscles.
Ice Baths
In Kokoro, the coaches will subject you to a dip (or multiple dips) into an ice bath. How do you prepare for this? I tried to get acclimated to the shock of cold water by taking cold showers. I did this for months prior to Kokoro and I felt that it did help me get ready. If you’re really committed to prepping for an ice bath, buy several pounds of ice and put it in a bathtub to create your own ice bath. Then stay in the frigid water for about fifteen minutes.
Surf Torture
Surf torture is one of the most feared evolutions in Kokoro. Expect multiple submersions into the cold Pacific Ocean interspersed with beach PT. If you’re near a beach, I recommend that you go early in the morning and take a couple of dips into the water to get a feel of what to expect. You can take this further by convincing your friends or coach to yell at you for a few hours to do boot camp exercises (low crawls on the sand, suicide sprints, etc) and ocean dips.
The Grinder
There is a place in Kokoro called the Grinder where the coaches will organize several boot camp smoke sessions to test your physical and mental endurance. The coaches will be yelling at you and saying mean things to shake your confidence. Your goal is to follow their directions while ignoring their commentary and insults. To succeed in these evolutions, you not only need to have good conditioning, but also be mentally strong enough to deal with the stress and verbal abuse that the coaches will bring to these sessions. I’ll cover mental toughness techniques to handle this later in this article.
Log PT
You’ll be tasked to carry a log with your team and do exercises with it such as overhead log presses and sit-ups. Teamwork is essential during this exercise because if one falters, the entire log team suffers. Obviously, being physically strong will help you during this evolution. One exercise I did to help prepare for this evolution was sandbag shoulder-to-shoulder presses. Get a 60# sandbag, place it on your right shoulder, and push press the bag from your right shoulder to your left shoulder, then push press it from your left shoulder to your right shoulder. That counts as 1 rep. My goal was to hit 100 reps without setting the bag down.
Another favorite exercise to strengthen your shoulders is to get a 45# plate and hold it over your head for 30 second intervals, with 15 second breaks in between. Your goal is build enough strength to do 20 rounds of this to reach a total overhead hold time of 10 minutes.
Quitting
There has yet to be a Kokoro class with a 100% completion rate, so it seems inevitable that there will be at least one person who will quit in your class (and let’s hope that it’s not you). Usually, the reason people quit Kokoro is because they have convinced themselves that they are unable to continue. Kokoro coaches and finishers have said that it is absolutely important that you need a strong “why”, or reason, for doing the event. This is because at some point, you are going to be asking yourself why you are putting yourself through this crucible when things get really difficult, especially if you’re cold, hungry, tired, and in pain. If your “why” is not important and good enough to motivate you to continue, then you’ll come up with any excuse to stop.
There was only one moment when I thought about quitting Kokoro. It was before we were going to start the Murph test, which was around Hour 26 or 27 of the event. Prior to the test, we had just run a bunch of “Pays to be a winner” races up and down sand dunes. I wasn’t the fastest in my team, which meant I ran a lot during this evolution. My hip flexors were smoked, making my legs feel too heavy to run. I thought to myself that there was no way I was going to finish under the 70 minute time limit. The fear of not making the cutoff got to me for a moment and I was considering dropping from the event.
Then I told myself, “Hey dummy! You at least got to TRY the Murph before you think about quitting. If you do the test and fail, then at least you can say you gave it your best. You can’t quit now!”
I pivoted from wanting to quit to being motivated to give Murph my best in the span of a few seconds. Although I didn’t think directly about my “why”, I wouldn’t be surprised if it subconsciously snapped me out of my quitting funk since I thought about it so much before the event.
My ‘Why’
My why for doing the event is related to the Triple Heavy event I did in October 2015. It was three consecutive 24-hour endurance events, and our team managed to finish two of them. However, the third 24-hour event was canceled due to low participation numbers. Five participants were needed to start, but only four were willing to go. I decided not to continue because of an injury I suffered during the second event. I don’t regret the decision, but our inability to finish the entire event would never leave my mind.
I strongly felt that finishing the Triple Heavy was possible, and I vowed to do whatever it took to be strong enough (both physically and mentally) to finish the event in our second attempt. When I first signed up for Kokoro, it was to learn how to be strong enough to pass GORUCK Selection. When I had signed up for the later Kokoro class, my reason changed to learning how to be a better teammate and leader for my Triple Heavy team. I wanted to inspire my teammates to be the best version of themselves, and to do that, I needed to learn how to be the best version of myself. I felt that was the x-factor needed to push our team to complete the entire event. I thought about my Triple Heavy teammates and goal every day during my Kokoro training, and that drive to fulfill my Triple Heavy goal probably subconsciously snapped me out of quitting so quickly.
Unfortunately, some of my Kokoro teammates couldn’t do the same.
Quitting Anti-patterns
I asked some of my teammates who quit in my class about why they quit, and I received their permission to share their answers. Their responses may give you insight on how to avoid quitting.
I really don’t know [why I quit]. I was 100% fine physically. Mentally broke. It was interesting. Fascinating even. I know where I went wrong but I don’t know why. My issue was me. “Flipping the switch” from negative to positive sounds good in theory until you’re in that dark place. That was my discovery. It was a huge realization for me. Now I recognize dark so I will know to expect it so I can “flip the switch” to get back out.
—
I only completed 26 of the 53-hour endurance event, up until I quit and gave into the negativity instead of looking out for my teammates and keep pushing forward. Naturally I’m disappointed in myself for not finishing. The fight may be over but the war has merely started. I learned many valuable lessons that translate to life. Learned that you can’t do everything on your own, and you will need friends with you when you are feeling weak. I regret quitting not because of a self goal I had to myself but because I let my teammates down and left when they had the same pain I had. I now know what it takes and what I need to work on to prepare.
I just let my mind go when we weren’t doing anything. I should have waited 10min to be fired up for the murph. I wish I could go back to the decision I made and kept it up.
In both cases, once the team members got into negative thinking, they didn’t have a plan to get out of that state. Again, this is why having a strong “why” is so important. When things get very difficult, you’ll need to ask yourself why you’re going through this, and if that answer is not good enough, it will not motivate you to continue.
Another point that was brought up was asking for help. Kokoro is a TEAM endurance event, and although there will be moments where you will compete against each other, you will need to rely on each other to help you get through it. If I was unable to snap out of my decision to quit before the Murph, I would have asked a teammate for help. It’s okay to ask for help. Let me say this again–it’s okay to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness, and nearly every Kokoro participant will go through a rough patch. On the flip side, if you see a teammate struggling, reach out and help that person. Saying something motivating and showing your support could be the key moment that convinces your teammate not to quit.
It’s impossible for me to talk about Kokoro 41 without also mentioning a teammate who quit late into the class (around Hour 42). We knew that the surf torture evolution was coming up during our van ride to the beach. My swim buddy (let’s call him) Dave admitted to me that he was scared, so I tried to relay all the mental toughness techniques that I knew (which are covered below) to help calm him down and prepare for what was coming. However, during the evolution, the coaches preyed on Dave’s perceived weakness and got into his head during the evolution. He quit suddenly, and the rest of the team was so focused on getting past the surf torture insanity that we didn’t notice he was gone until we were in the middle of a very brief break. His quitting affected me because he was so close to finishing Kokoro, and had he made it to the end of the surf torture evolution, I’m positive that he would have finished with the rest of us.
I don’t blame myself for Dave quitting. There’s only so much that you can do to help a teammate, and it’s up to the person to determine if he can continue or not. That said, there was one piece of advice I wished I gave him now that I reflected on this, “If you’re thinking of quitting, find me first and tell me.” I don’t know if that would have helped Dave, but it at least would have given him something to do before quitting, and given me an opportunity to convince him to stay in the fight.
So how do you stop yourself from quitting? It’s not easy, but one way is to learn the four tenets of mental toughness.
Mental Toughness
There are four mental toughness techniques that I have used to help me finish many endurance events. I’ll summarize them in this section, but they are covered in great detail in Mark Divine’s book, Unbeatable Mind, and I strongly recommend that you read it.
The first tenet of mental toughness is visualization. Create a very detailed mental picture of you actually completing the task (imagine what you see, hear, feel, and smell when this is happening). In my case, I imagined my team and myself going through a Grinder session before Mark Divine yells out in a bullhorn, “Kokoro 41 secured!” By creating a believable image of completing Kokoro in my mind and thinking about it daily, I was subconsciously convincing my mind that I could finish the event since I kept seeing myself at the end.
The second tenet of mental toughness is self-affirmations, which are power statements that can motivate you when things get difficult. I used some power statements such as “I made it this far!”, “Gotta keep going!”, and “I’m closer to the end than I was before!” to strengthen my resolve as we got closer to the end of the event.
The third tenet is micro-goals, where you only concentrate on completing a very small, achievable goal. You would then use the victory of accomplishing that small goal as motivation to keep going. It’s a mistake to think about how much time is left at Kokoro because it becomes too daunting for your mind to process and it starts looking for excuses to quit. Instead, you only concentrate on the current task (“just need to make it to the end of this rep”) to make the evolutions more manageable. For example, during my runs I would tell myself to reach a point that was several feet in front of me and repeat the process. This helped keep my mind busy from thinking about how tired I was.
The fourth tenet is arousal control. High stress will spike your heart rate and cause your mind to not think straight. Lowering your heart rate through breathing techniques will calm you (and your mind) down and reduce your stress. You simply breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, and then hold it for four seconds before starting again.
What Kokoro Did For Me
Finishing Kokoro was one of the most amazing experiences I ever had. It challenged my perspective on what is actually difficult, and I generally am much happier now that I have the tools to deal with any obstacles that come my way. Furthermore, it helped me find a purpose in life, which is to assist others in realizing their dreams. I am very fortunate that I had the tools and support to achieve my goals, and I really want to support others get that same sense of pride and accomplishment by achieving their goals. It’s why I wrote this article in the first place.
I hope that this perspective has helped you, whether it is preparing for your Kokoro class or any other challenge that you are facing. Nothing good comes easy, but with dedication and perseverance, anything is possible.
Good luck, and get at it!
